My Testimony

The criticisms that come against Christianity or any other religious faith usually are a matter of perspective. A believer will answer issues on the assumption that the doctrine of his faith is correct... and actually that is the story of experience of every human being, being considered religious or otherwise. That is our mortal inheritance, the fallacy of induction: since you cannot know everything, it is tempting to assume that that which you do not know follows the same logic as the things that you do know, which is illogical to assume (or at least, I assume so) as has been undeniably demonstrated by history. If we don't make this assumption, then you accept that anything is possible. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that seeming issues with Christianity are often seen in two major categories: it was God's will, or you're just paranoid and want to perpetuate your own sense of identity which has been built around the idea of God. As a Latter Day Saint, I feel I will add my input to the subject which happens to be a central pillar of my testimony. Some of the things that I am asked about when it comes to the veracity of the LDS church come to this standoff that I have talked about. Of course I have thought for a long time about such issues and my conclusions are, in the end, supportive of the Church and the Gospel. In trying to analyze my own bias in these issues, I realize that a few of my arguments do not conclude on what might be called empirical reasoning; as in, it usually involves phrasing of this sort: I don't really know for sure, but I am willing to believe there are reasons which we are not aware of for which these things happened. This same argument is not unusual at all in different contexts; this is how the idea of "scientific thought" grew out of spiritualistic philosophy and medicine. Indeed this is the argument that corrects spurious relationships - we acknowledge the fallacy of induction and (ideally) move to increase our understanding of the subject.

Still, so far I have not moved away from the ledge of perspectives. I was just reading the very first verse in the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:1, which says: "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days." This caused me to reflect on my own testimony because I felt I could relate very well with Nephi's explanation. I feel I have had many, many spiritual experiences, ranging in intensity... but there are things that I have experienced and written down that defy all the natural logic I possess; these are what Tom Rogers might call "hooks", or what in this context might be called "things that unambiguously take you off the ledge". I brought up Nephi's words because he mentions "many afflictions" before giving his testimony. I suspect he might have used "highly favored of the Lord" as a reference to being blessed with divine help to interpret his afflictions wisely, although that's just a random guess. Anyway, I related to this because the "hooks" or "ledge-pushers" stored in my brain and paper all started out with something going wrong, in some cases very, very wrong. But they were core to the eventual positive outcome (which, in my opinion, is kind of an obvious point. I mean to say, I think the questions of "why does bad happen in the world/to me" requires not understanding what makes good things happen in the world, or, on a slightly different platform, why homeostasis is the antithesis of things like 'desire', 'drive', 'achievement', 'progress', 'dreams', 'joy', and all of the things that make the human experience enjoyable).

So I guess I just wanted to write what was on my mind, which is this: I believe in my faith, and my faith-supporting conclusions, not necessarily because of how solid each argument initially sounds, but because I feel I have been given more solid evidence for them than any evidence to the contrary.

I think that's kind of the idea pretty much the main purpose of the Book of Mormon. I don't see how this has passed over so many heads...

I think I've already expressed many of these things in former writings. Well maybe in this post I've connected and solidified some things.

Art

So I was perusing youtube recently trying to find certain pieces of piano music for my class when, in the right portion of the screen where all the related videos are (and in this case was mostly just pictures of sheet music since the videos for these pieces are often just follow-alongs in the music) I spied an unusual piece of sheet music which inspired me to investigate.

I learned that this piece of music was a part of Sylvano Bussotti's piano sonata, "Pour Clavier". I also learned that this piece did absolutely nothing to persuade me to the cause of this form of "modern music", despite the uploader's assurance that it was "a monolith of the modern piano repertoire", even rivaling other piano sonatas "in terms of sheer greatness". After a listen, I posted this comment in review: "In my opinion, the less distinction a piano piece has from, say, a piano left out in the middle of a hailstorm, the less reason it has to exist." In reply, the poster of this video wrote "In my opinion, the more incapable a listener is from differentiating a piece of music from a piano in a hailstorm, the less that person is worth. Period." after which he blocked me from further reply. I was indignant at first... I was upset that this person was getting away with shameless two-fold hypocrisy - one for unambiguously depreciating the value of a human life for no other reason than that person forming an opinion of art different from his own, while at the same time vehemently defending the very ideal of subjective interpretation of art, and two for assuming the position of professional art critic while childishly mocking those who gave negative comments. Previous to this time I had somewhat firmly established a philosophy on art and music, but this experience helped me to refine that philosophy.

One of the comments accepted by the poster of this video brought up a point: "This is not even a matter of pretty or ugly. We're talking about music here, and thus a way to express what you consider an approach. Way more an approach than 'ugly' or 'pretty'. Why not 'small', or 'big' ? or 'blue' or 'yellow. Probably because during all your life some have taught you to measure art with a somewhat absurd concept of 'pretty' and 'ugly'". Ok, so it's all up to the person what they get out of this music. And sure, you could say that this music is small and yellow. Heck, you could say it's anything. So meaning is derived not from the form of the art but instead from the observer. Or you could take the opposite argument from the very poster of the video - meaning comes straight from the form of art; why else would he criticize my apparently erroneous understanding of the music? If this music is supposed to have form that is so drastically distinct from a piano in a hailstorm, then there is significance in every second of silence, every note played, every line and - dare I say - scribble on the sheet music. Were one note moved a half-step off, would the purpose of the whole piece be frustrated? Anyway, the point is that both sides of the argument demonstrate different facets of art, i.e. both form and interpretation could be argued as important to art and to different degrees. So, as I thought about this, I had the thought that the distinction between true art and everything else was what it suggested to the observer. I suppose even if a work of art is in the form of something we consider normal or natural (i.e. form doesn't matter), the suggested interpretation of it could be significant. For example the poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" employs a very natural and familiar setting, but makes suggested interpretations of this setting that indeed have great potential to expand one's life experience. But in the world of non-vocal music, the medium of communication is the instrument, so suggesting something must, as a language must, be understood by the listener in order to mean anything and thus have positive potential. In a way it is akin to telling a joke, in that the context is important for people to understand in order for the full effect to take place. If you create a brand new form of notation that is not intuitive and must be explained to everyone, that's like telling an inside joke - which is fine until you assume that everyone who doesn't get it must be dull or ignorant.

Missed comment

I just noticed a comment made last October in my "Another string of thought" post. It points out that Latter Day Saints claim that the Book of Mormon is "the most correct book on the face of the earth" which would infer that the Bible is below the Book of Mormon in truth. This does not ring well in the ears of the rest of Christendom. Here is my response.

The Articles of Faith of the LDS church state that we "believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly". I will paraphrase a quote from a church authority whose identity I have forgotten: the words of the Bible as they were produced from the pen of the apostles was perfectly accurate. Now, the filters of multiple translations have caused many passages to lose their original meaning and have thus been rendered incomplete in truth. Examples of this are not terribly hard to find.

Exodus 7-14 mentions frequently that "the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh". If this is true, then why didn't God soften the heart of Pharaoh, instead of seemly forcing him into doing the evil that would cause his own destruction?

Exodus 33:20 and John 1:18 say that no man has seen God or can see God and live. Yet several accounts of man seeing God are recorded in the Bible - one of them is a few verses behind the former scripture reference: "And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend." Other accounts and references are found in Job 19:26, Acts 7:56, Genesis 32:30, Isaiah 6:5, and others. How else do you think we have a prophetic description of the risen Lord in the Book of Revelations?

Ephesians 2:8-9 says that man is saved by Grace and not by works, that God gives the gift of salvation. Different sects of Christianity differ on how to interpret this scripture, but most who say that salvation comes by Grace alone argue between 'predestination' - that God has already chosen who He is going to save - and the need to put forth faith - a simple acknowledgement that God exists - to obtain salvation. But according to Revelations 20:12-15, people whose works have been judged to be evil, regardless of their level of faith or predestination status, will be "cast into the lake of fire."

These are some of the more obvious doctrinal conflicts that occur within the Bible. As Christians, Latter Day Saints hold the Bible to be the Word of God, but we acknowledge that during a period of great apostasy, Biblical truths were altered. We assert that the Book of Mormon is a record of complete truth, as it came to Joseph Smith from Spirit of Revelation. That said, we do not believe either book holds the entirety of the Word of God. Article of Faith 9 states: "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God." We believe that God does not speak to a few people at a few points in history and then "shuts the heavens" so to speak. Why wouldn't God reveal everything at once instead of having a stream of revelation only when there are enough righteous people and prophets to listen, as seems to be the pattern in the Bible (Chronicles 36:15-16; Jeremiah 7:25-26)? And why would He stop after the death of the Apostles of the early church? Was there suddenly nothing left to reveal? Did the people suddenly become righteous and stop corrupting the doctrine to what they thought it should be (Galatians 1:6-10; 2 Timothy 4:3-4)? But I digress. What I wanted to say is this: we believe both books of scripture are necessary for us to know the truth of God, that they support and testify of each other, and that neither stands alone as a complete volume of the Word of God. Like the synthesis of the Old and New Testaments, the histories contained within both books create a more complete image of God.


Before I end, I want to mention one other thing. As I was reading the post in question, "Another string of thought", I found that I did not like the way I wrote some of my commentary. Of course I leave it the same doctrinally, but I felt I was too unnecessarily judgmental of some of the people to whom I made reference. I have since been working to improve in that area, seeing that I have no authority to make any such judgments.

Before I go to bed

I recently learned that I passed my music theory test-out exam. Since I also tested out of my dictation class with 100% I had planned to go on to my upper level music courses here at BYU, which is what I had been looking forward to doing for several years now, but I will have to wait until I complete my sight singing course (which I couldn't take this last term due to work schedule conflicts) which will be available this fall semester. So basically I will be taking mostly generals until the winter semester of 2012. However this will free my schedule up to get some more Arabic classes in, which I have been thoroughly enjoying. So for the summer I will be taking 102 and for the fall I will be taking 201. After that is 202, but beyond that I do not know what I will do. My composition courses will keep my schedule full (once I can take them) and a trip to Jordan or Egypt would definitely put graduation off a bit. So I will do the best I can and see what my options are when the time comes.

Another thought. Something I taught as a missionary but now seems much clearer, probably because of the strings of thought I have been having lately. The Book of Mormon is either true or it isn't. But to say it isn't implies it was written by either Joseph Smith or someone else with some sort of incentive to do so. This is basically what I said in a previous post. The difference is that I've been considering the level of ignorance that theory would stipulate. Almost certainly the theorist has not read the book. In the case of, say, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, producers of the recent "Book of Mormon Musical", who have likely read at least a part of the book, I am clueless as to their theory on the book. The only explanation I can think of is that they refuse to accept Joseph's story because it would mean they are wrong about many, many things. But what other reasonable option is there? Could Joseph Smith have written the book? As I've discussed earlier, Joseph would have no reason to write a 500+ page book for which he would have to research ancient geographic, religious, and literary history extensively, which by the way would have to be one of the most drastic turn-arounds in history: from a poorly-educated, near illiterate farm boy to a world-renown author, historian, and theologian in a few years with no formal training. A few of the more obvious nails in the structure holding up the validity of the Book of Mormon. It seems that Trey and Matt choose an illogical perspective in the face of clear evidence to the contrary in order to bolster their self-assurance of the validity of their way of life, which would seem to indicate a good bit of insecurity. Wait, what were they mocking again?

Added later: After hearing the music from the aforementioned musical, and on the assumption that the music represents the information presented in the musical, I no longer think it likely that the producers have read the Book of Mormon. Or at least, they did not use the doctrine in it for the musical. Which is fine, and also means it can't be considered an argument against Mormonism.

Theory of God

I was thinking of this a few months ago and haven't really thought about it since until the last week. It's not a very complex thought string though I don't think I reached a full resolution. Perhaps I will right now.

The scientific theory is a method of problem solving that seeks to disprove theories, not prove them. Indeed, you technically can't "prove" anything - there's no official universal number of tests that need to be run to confirm the truth of something. What we believe we know as facts are in reality theories that have yet to be disproved. It's like we have a single lamp inside a dark and near infinitely large room. We see and have some understanding of the area we're in, and as far as we can tell the rest of the room is just like our spot, but we can't prove there's nothing that exists within the shroud of darkness that we aren't familiar with. The human mind simply does not possess omniscience, and thus is incapable of proving anything, save for mathematical proofs, which deal with abstract and theoretically impossible re-projections of the universe which cannot be otherwise expressed.

With this perspective, the theory of God is by its very nature non-disprovable. Romans 11:33 - "how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!" Isaiah 55:8,9 - "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." In fact the scriptures often use the term 'mystery' to describe the ways of God. This essentially creates an inability to lay out specific parameters that would constitute a theory which could be tested. This aspect of the nature of God, I here speculate, is one of the primary causes of disbelief. The scriptures outline a Deity that is scientifically and philosophically untouchable by nature: a cause-all, fix-all to everything in life, whose dubious seeming simplicity and consistent absence of immediate gratification of short-term curiosity is quick to foster speculation in the human mind.


Of course I reject the validity of the speculation based on my own experience. I also reject it because it lacks important foundations of argument on a socio-analytical level. Perhaps in the world of Christianity outside of the Latter-Day Saint church, such speculation is not so easily apprehended. Although the Gospel still stands through the prescribed method of knowing its validity as described in the scriptures themselves, it seems to more easily match the description given by Karl Marx: the opium of the masses. With existence of the Book of Mormon, however, an impressive hole appears in the foundation of the opposing argument.


The most plausible explanation that holds up against the Book of Mormon without admitting it was inspired by God is that Joseph Smith and/or his fellow 'founders' wrote it. I think few would dispute that, if someone was trying to lead people astray with a made-up religion, their fabricated scripture would support their practices and beliefs. Why, then, would Joseph Smith write Jacob 2, which speaks explicitly of the evils of polygamy and the scriptural justification thereof, if he were planning to make some sort of polygamist utopia, as many critics firmly claim? Why would Joseph Smith write Alma 30:7,8 "Now there was no law against a man’s belief; for it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds. For thus saith the scripture: Choose ye this day, whom ye will serve." if he wanted to keep people of black skin from holding the Priesthood? We may apply the same question to proposition 8. Perhaps one would say at this point, "then doesn't that make God look hypocritical?" The response I would give would take up several more paragraphs and would be a digression of the matter at hand, and likely not the direction of conversation my opposing party would take at this point. The point of the matter is that the Book of Mormon does not contain the characteristic residue of opium-seekers, not does it contain any other sort of modern human traces. There would be no motivation to write such a book. It does not cater to Joseph Smith's faults. Thus it adds validity to the theory of the God of the Bible on, among others, a socio-analytical level.

More thoughts on sentience

Another idea I've been shaping, though it does not hold such solid form as my previous theory. I consider myself to be separate from every other body: an entity of cognisance of my own existence, independent and wholly disconnected with any other locus of sentience, and in full understanding of this identification of self. This self was brought into existence at a specific time and to a very specific set of cells. The specifications under which this self exists, in terms of physical and chronological attributes, are precisely infinite; between gene formation and the time of events, the likelihood of my placement is not dissimilar to picking a random electron in the universe. In consideration of this, I have often wondered why I existed with my specifications and not those of another. For some reason, other people began their existence when they did. I am assuming that each human being has a similar cognisant experience to the one I have. If this is true, then why was I not born at some other time? Why was I born at all? What explains that I exist at all? If existence is a matter of chemistry and nothing more, what combination of cells created my specific existence? Why didn't I start as someone else, and why am I limited to only my own body and mind? I know I exist, so does everyone else. So why aren't I someone else? The fact that I exist is not unique - everyone does, I can only assume. So, existence is universally equal, but chronological and physical placement is not; it is infinitely impossible. Were there nothing more than this, there would be no explanation for individual existence. Your chances of being exactly who you are would be infinitely impossible, like the chance of your number being picked out of infinity.

Another reason why I must admit that the Scriptures contain more reason than their opposition.

Added several hours later:


Thinking about the subject more I have come up with this equation:

a + b = c

a = existence
b = unknown
c = chronological and physical placement

"a" is always equal, and "c" is always unequal. Thus "b" must always be unequal. The idea is that "a = c" does not work, so there must be a "b" factor, some unequalizer that takes every "a" and adjusts it to match a "c". 

Thoughts on sentience

I have a theory that not everything that we experience is of a calculable, observable nature. Moreover, I theorize that the fact that we experience in the first place is proof of the former statement. This would disprove the theory that sentience is a product of nothing more than the results of natural physical and chemical reactions that occur in our brains, or of any thing that can be measured.

Here is my argument: If everything that occurs within our brain - the position and velocity of every atomic particle, which is theoretically both possible and impossible to measure, but for our purposes we will assume it is possible - were observable and measurable according to what we understand as the laws of the physics - as in, there were no unobservable outside forces such as the abstract idea of a soul that has "free-agency" - then theoretically one could produce a machine capable of calculating with exactness the projected path of each atomic and sub-atomic particle within the brain. This would also account for outside forces, since, according to the theory I am presently working to disprove, everything in the universe acts according to calculable natural laws and is without the idea of "magic", that which is without the boundaries of explanation; therefore everything would be calculable and thus able to be accounted for. Now, in a controlled environment, let us place a man in front of this machine that has observed the location and velocity of every particle and has calculated the paths that each will take and analyzed them to form results observable to man. Let us say that this man was out to disprove the theory I am working with right now. He asks the machine if, between 4 and 10 seconds after the machine's answer (which is given immediately after the question is made), the man will throw his hands in the air. Here we have a paradox, an impossibility. If the machine calculates that the particles in the man's brain cells or in any other outside body that would influence the act were not accelerating to create the situation where that act would be performed, and thus replies with "no", the man waits 5 seconds and then throws his hands in the air, by virtue of his desire to disprove the theory. If the machine calculates the opposite, that the man will in fact be propelled by every calculable force to throw his hands in the air in said time period, then the man keeps his hands down, by virtue of his desire to disprove the theory. Wouldn't the machine have calculated that? But if it had, and stated that the calculations dictated that he would NOT throw his hands in the air, we are back to the first circumstance. I theorize that, to avoid this paradox, one must acknowledge the existence of a force which is, by definition, external, unobservable, and incalculable, free from the government of the laws we cling to as an explanation of what appears to us as resulting from those laws. This will then free us to understand that which many refuse to accept - miracles - which are defined as that which we have observed but cannot explain with our current understanding of the universe. I theorize that included in those miracles is life itself, sentience, which is the most potent and universal evidence of the existence of them.